01/20/2014

"We all have a different story, but we're all here."

-Ellen Degeneres

This is my story: These past few years have been intense, and I can really only be grateful for any obstacles and trials these years have had in them, because the choices I've made and things they've revealed about myself have shaped me into who I am now. While I know I will continue to change, I want to remember I am not unhappy with the ways I'm aware I have already changed. I feel I am on a journey to true happiness, being content in my heart and with my soul -- call it hippyish if you will.

I have met so many amazing people that, due to previous judgement, I never would have expected to be part of my life, now only seeing them as beautiful people; for others I know, my love has grown and desire of them as bigger roles in my life becomes stronger; there are those for which my love will not change, yet my likeness of their proximity to my life is changing, still having gratitude for the acceptance they had for me and for the things they've helped me learn about myself; my beliefs have wavered and I have become more open-minded to differences and change; and finally, my feeling of where I belong and what home is, or where, has changed -- Yachats is a magical place...

"If you don't create change, change will create you."

A simple comment: "Nothing stays the same in your family."
My family is full of chaos.
We are all definitely individuals.
I believe, though, it's a good thing that things are constantly
changing for us.
My family needs change.
There is a lot of growing up that is still needed,
and I guess the fact that nothing stays the same in my family just goes
to prove that we are open to change.
We all have chances to create change for our own health and happiness, and
most are chances we will take.
Obviously, sometimes it's difficult to handle the change
each other creates, but some how we do.
We are growing and learning how to make ourselves happy.
We are learning what direction in life is right for each of us as individuals.
I hope and believe with everything in me,
that in time we are going to be one big happy family again...
even if the distance keeps us physically separated.

"Change is the essence of life. Be willing
to surrender what you are for
what you could become."
- Author Unknown

"Be the change you wish to see in the world."
- Mahatma Gandhi

"Growth means change and change
involves risk, stepping
from the known the the unknown."
- Author Unknown

"Any change, even a change for the better,
is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomfort."
- Arnold Bennet

Concert last night, and a few thoughts...

I went to see the Dashboard Confessional concert last night,
and for the most part it was absolutely amazing!
I have decided more specifically what I love about concerts,
and it may be as cheesy as it gets, but it's true.
For me, anyway.
So I've always said that it's the feel of the music I like the best.
Now, more specifically...It's that I believe at concerts, with the music blaring,
I can feel my heart beating at what I believe
to be it's full potential.
People of Utah...the ones that are low enough to "boo" someone off stage,
I can honestly say that I despise you for it!
I hope at some point in your life it happens to you.
Maybe someone can just "boo" you for walking into a room.
Get over yourself and open your mind. People are NOT all the same.
Being different truly is a good thing. You're just too stuck in this nut shell to notice.
I think it's only in Utah that people cheer when a musician distinctively
drops the "F" bomb. It makes me laugh.
Thank you to the people that helped me get through the crowd last night
to get a picture. It is for people like you that I am willing to let others pass by me
without a fight.
Sometimes I wish I was one of the people at a concert that sings along extremely loud,
dances, and yells out to the musicians.
I sort of get a jealous feeling watching the people that are like that.
Lady Danville is a fun band to watch live. They remind me of Ben Folds.
Last night definitely wouldn't have been that great if I'd been with different people.

My life...
Hopefully with this upcoming move in the near future, I will actually be able to
live life for myself.
Maybe this feeling of not being good enough will go away.
I'm sick of feeling like I've been replaced.
I know what I want for my future, and I don't want that feeling,
or the feeling of not belonging anymore,
to stop me from making it happen.
I wish family drama would go away.
On a happier note, though, I so glad that I'm finally
getting my bills paid off!

Pray.

All I want right now is for life to be easier for my sister and my grandpa. I want them to be able to live happily, without pain and sickness. I want a miracle to happen for them; for the doctors to say there is nothing wrong anymore, and they are each free to live an entirely enjoyable life!

Pray for my sister and my grandpa, please?

As for now, I'm so grateful for how strong they've both been, along with my grandma and my mom. They are all so amazing and I can't imagine life without them!

2010 ends.

Since this year is coming to an end, and this is probably the last post I will get in before the new year, here is a recap of my year:

Brandon left Feburary. He's a wonderful person,

but finally in my past.

Feburary was a hard month.
March, my uncle came home from basic training

and I came home.

Festival of colors!

Trips to Sammy's.

"All We Are" Cd Release

"Silhouettes Fade" Cd Release

The summer was amazing.
I got back in touch with Toni, and met new people. Went boating...undefeated tubing.

Blind dates.

Got my GED.

Decided what I want to do with my life,

and I'm not backing out.

Changed my mind numerous times about a few things.

Started writing a journal and blog.

New quote book.

Grandparents came home from their mission, and I've
gained a closer relationship with them

since they've been home.

Saw my long lost cousins a little bit.
Friends from my past got married and engaged.

Halloween...well, better luck next year.

Stopped eating sweets.

Got everything I could ever imagine for Christmas.

Learned to be grateful for everything I have. Learned

to love everyone and everything.

Continued on with important relationships I've

developed over the past 20 years of my life.

Started talking to Andy, from Switzerland, more.

Sent cds to him. Made a fan page for his music.

For the most part, I've started living life the way

I want to, more for myself than for others.

Through everything I've been through,

I've kept in touch with my best friend,

even though she moved to Provo.

I've also, built stronger

relationships with those in my family.

Even though this year happened to be harder than most,

I'd say it's one of the best years, as well, because

I've built stronger relationships with the people I know,

and I know who is there

for me through all the hard things in life.

Special thanks to Mary for being there for me, even after all the craziness of my life you always hear about.

Also for being the one person I can talk to about absolutely everything, vent to all the time.

Not only have you helped me in that way, but you always know how to make things fun!

Thank you!

Concerts:

- Feburary 24, 2010; Kilby Court Acoustic Night. This Is Anfield(Alan Hanson acoustic set), Spiral Diary, Double or Nothing, The Foreground, and Larusso. *Brittany, Megan, and Kirby

- March 3, 2010; Kilby Court. Allred. *Megan

- March 6, 2010; LiveRdie charity concert for Clark Kimble. Ask For the Future, Nate Baldwin and the Sound, Double or Nothing, and J. Wride. *Brittany and Megan

- March 23, 2010; Velour. We Shot the moon, w/Double or Nothing, and Broke City. *Brittany and Megan

- April 10, 2010; Sammy's. Allred *Brittany, Megan, and Mary

- July 27, 2010; Provo. Allred's "Covers III" Cd Release. Allred. *Megan, Toni, Christian, Jackie, Tyler, and Cheyanne

- August 12, 2010; Christian's house. Birthday concert. Double or Nothing. *Megan, Mary, Toni, Christian, Jackie, Cheyanne

- August 21, 2010; In The Venue, SLC. Something Corporate. *Megan, Mary, Anna, and Adam

- September 5, 2010; Velour. Jason Reeves and Cameron Rafati. *Brittany and Megan

- September 18, 2010; Avalon Theater, SLC. Allred's "All We Are" Cd Release, SLC. Allred and J. Wride. *Megan and Jamie

- October 8, 2010; Velour. Allred's "All We Are" Cd Release, Provo. Allred. *Megan and Brittany

- October 9, 2010; Kilby Court. Alan Hanson acoustic set, Adam Turly, and others. *Megan

- October 16, 2010; American Fork Amphitheater. Local Artists. Noon-11 pm. Allred at 6:30 pm. *Brittany, Megan, and Mary

- December 3, 2010; Lehi High School. Allred acoustic show. *Megan and Savannah

- December 10, 2010; Rail Events Center, SLC. Christmas concert. Allred and New City Skyline. *Brittany, Meagn, and Mary

"Where words fail, music speaks." -Hans Christian Andersen

Now, for the topic of my life. The one thing I have a true passion for. A topic that will most likely come up a lot...MUSIC!

Music is the most wonderful thing! Since I don't have any musical talent of my own, I have come up with a great plan that will keep music a huge part of my life. I have yet to set that plan into motion, though. I guess I better get a move on it.

Anyway, of course, everyone thinks they love music more than any person that may be next to them. I'd challenge you to that. Concerts. Live music. That is the best!

My favorite bands or musicians:

**************Cat Stevens(Now Yusuf Islam)*************

I've grown up listening to this amazing man! Thank you, dad. There is very little I wouldn't do to be able to see him in concert. If I could travel back in time to any point, I would be at his Earth Tour, 1976 concerts...all of them. Listening to his music just makes me feel good. I don't know how anyone wouldn't while listening to him. There are people that are very foolish and made such a big deal about the change of his lifestyle. They constantly criticize him for it. It just makes me think he's more amazing that he had the courage to follow a path of his own for himself. He's a man that has always been about peace.

“I always stood for the elimination of conflict and wars, and any of those causes that ignite them.” -Yusuf Islam

**********************Allred**********************

The first time I saw John Allred was June 11, 2008. Since then I've seen him in concert 36 times. He was the beginning of my obsession with concerts, pretty much music in general. It seems that every time I see an Allred concert they are better and better, but I still can't say which is my favorite one I've been to.
At the same time that Cat Stevens is my absolute favorite musician, John Allred is my biggest inspiration in music. Through his kindness and all the heart he puts into his music, lyrics and performing, I've decided what I want to do with my life. It's all because of him.
He once said, "I want people to feel like they're a part of the music again." Through the years I've listened to his music, that has truly been accomplished in my life.

www.myspace.com/allred

***********Double or Nothing***********
The first time I saw Double or Nothing was a very, very small show, August 27, 2009. They have come an extremely long way! You would not believe the crowds at their shows now are there for the same band as the one I saw that first day . I didn't think I would ever like their music as much as I ever liked John Allred's music. I don't think they thought I would either. With their most recent album "Silhouettes Fade" I was proved wrong. It was surprising to me. They really are amazing, and so fun in concert! They are amazing and fun people in general!

www.myspace.com/doubleornothing


*****Jason Reeves*****

Jason Reeves is one of my favorite musicians because his music is so relaxing.
I don't know if there is anyone that is happier to be
alive. He just seems at peace with nature and his life. I love
his music because you can hear that peace.
I think he has wonderful thoughts to share with the world, and he is able to do that through
his music.

*****Always Meet Twice*****

Always Meet Twice, Andy Schaub, is for the most part the beginning stages of his music. I've found you will enjoy music and concerts more as you follow a band from the beginning. You just have to be interested in the music and as it goes you will be surprised how fast a band or musician will improve. My favorite songs by Always Meet Twice are "Everything," "Novella," "Photograph," and then newest song, "What You Got." I believe Always Meet Twice has a long career ahead, and I'm excited I get to see it from the beginning! Do yourself a favor and look him up, then do him a favor by spreading his music. It is the least you can do when wonderful musicians are willing to share their music with the world!

www.myspace.com/alwaysmeettwice

**********This Is Anfield**********

This Is Anfield is not together anymore. They are still great friends, though. This was a band full of amazing people and great music. Although they, as a band, are missed, a couple of them are now in the band Allred, so it is nice to be able to see them perform still. It's also nice to see the occasional solo, acoustic show by Alan Hanson.

We truly are the luckiest ones.

For so many things in my life, I have been so lucky to be blessed with. First and foremost being my family, for the many role models I have in my life. This post is about one of the best role models I have, this post is about my Aunt Robin.

Asking myself what I want to be like when I'm older, I can't help thinking that in so many ways I want to be just like my Aunt Robin. Growing up watching her, listening to her, I've learned that there are few people that have such a loving nature towards anyone or anything.

It is the best thing in the world to know that through any hard times my sister or I might have, or even exciting things, we can go to her for advice or just to talk. Don't get me wrong, because all three of my parents, my sisters, a few friends are all there for me for the same thing. My other aunts, too. I just feel like my Aunt Robin always has the right things to say. For a lot of things it's just easier to talk to her.

The things I have learned specifically from her are the reasons she is one of the most influential role models in my life. Through example she taught me to be more open, less judgemental. The biggest thing for me, by teaching me the importance of charity, giving back for everything we have, she taught me to be grateful for every little thing I have and anything I have ever been given. She taught me to love animals. She taught me to love every person in the world, even the ones across the world.

As I read the comment she left me, calling me "angel of [her] heart," I felt she's really the angel. With the many times I have heard her say and the many more times I will hear her say, "I am the luckiest one," I will always believe that we, those of us that have her in our lives, are truly the luckiest ones!

Auntie Robin, I love you! Thank you for all that you've taught me and will continue to teach. Thank you for being who you are.